Since my last blog was entitled The Worst Abuse of All, you may think I’m crazy. You would be wrong, because if you remember, I ended it by saying, “This may not be the worst abuse of all.” In my opinion, it’s horrible, but not the worst. Spiritual or cult abuse by a parent is worse. Can you imagine a mother who would take her baby child to cult meetings in the middle of the night, just to allow the leaders to drug, rape, shame, and twist the truth beyond recognition?
There were times when I would say I couldn’t imagine such a terrible thing. Then in my counseling office, I met several counselees who experienced such human tragedies when they were small children. The mind of a child has no place to put this type of abuse, so they dissociate it away. It’s similar to creating an imaginary friend. Children who have not experienced those circumstances may create an imaginary friend. It’s normal. In fact, it shows a good imagination. Children who have experienced cult abuse are different. Sometimes the cult leaders trick them to create alters by calling them differenct names at different times. Alters is another word used for multiple personalities, which is now called DID or dissociative identity disorder. God created their minds to use the alters so they could forget or dissociate away the abuse that happened while they were children.
As they grow to adulthood, memories come back. They still may not know why they have such strange thoughts and voices in their heads. At first, the alters help them make it through the day. If the abuse continued for a long time, the adult parts of the person may go for years wondering why they struggle so. They don’t remember that part of their lives. I have read it takes about five years for the psychiatric community to recognize a person has alters. Yet they need help to find their real self, the self they were born to be. They need to remember the past in order to forget the past.
It often takes years for the abuse victim to find the help they need. In the meantime, they struggle to survive. Most do survive, because God has wired them to be survivors. People with dissociative identity disorder are still children at heart, children in adult bodies who feel shame and fear in most circumstances. They need caring people to help them learn ways to manage life. They are not dangerous to others, but they may be dangerouse to themselves at times. If you happen to know a person with DID, please be kind and helpful. Once they trust you, they will do anything to keep your friendship so be sensitive to their pain. They are some of my favorite people.