Have you ever felt crazy – like everyone knows all the answers and you don’t even know the questions?
Did you ever experience a situation that had you so mixed-up you didn’t know what to do?
Have you ever had something happen that caused you to say to yourself, “Why Me?”
Abused by Trust If you were ever sexually abused as a child or young teen, then you probably felt all those feelings. You didn’t have the experience to understand what was happening to you. If you were abused by a trusted friend or family member, you may have been mixed-up because a person you trusted was doing something you instinctively knew didn’t feel right. It was confusing because you trusted the abuser, so you didn’t know if you should try to stop it or if you should tell someone. Chances are you did neither. If you were groomed, you felt uncertain because the attention and sometimes the body felt good. You may have wondered, “If it feels good, does that mean I wanted it? Does that mean I am bad?” Don’t blame yourself, it was totally the fault of the abuser. Sometimes the body reacts to things it can not control, such as when you sneeze. This was the ultimate life-altering betrayal. Where could you put it in your young mind? There was no place to put it and no way to process it correctly.
Abused by Force If you were abused by force, you are probably feeling some of those same emotions, but there may be different ones also. You may have asked yourself, “Why did I go to that place or do that thing or wear those clothes that opened the door to the abuse?” Again, there is confusion and self-blame. Even if you disobeyed and went to a place you were not allowed to go, did a thing you were told not to do, or wore an outfit that was revealing, you were not responsible for the abuse. The abuser was completely at fault. Adults are supposed to use self-control. All these incidences are against the law for the adult. The child should be protected from further contact with the abuser.
Did you tell anyone?
Will you now?
If you have ever been a victim of sexual abuse, find a counselor and get some help.
What is your story of abuse?
How were you mixed-up and confused?
What have you done to heal?
What has helped?
What have you learned from the experience?
Do you have a testimony that might help others?
I know it seems counter-intuitive, but talking or writing about it often helps. Please comment to help keep this conversation going.
abuse, betrayal, children, healing, teen, teens