Divorce, Kids, and My Ring Finger

Feb24

074Kids and Divorce                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Does divorce hurt kids? People sometimes say, “Don’t worry. Kids are resilient.” It is true that some do seem to breeze through the break-up of a family, but others struggle for a lifetime. I recently learned a lesson from my ring finger. First, I need to tell you I have been married after 42 years. If you are divorced, I have not walked in your shoes, but I am not judging you either. I know things happen. Lots of things happen that cause a happily ever after marriage to end in divorce. The purpose of this blog is not to judge those who find themselves divorced. It is to ask you to take a close look at the thoughts and feelings of your children and teens.

For 22 years, I have counseled children and coordinated support groups for children who have experienced a divorce or the death of a parent. Some of these children are adults now and they are doing well in their lives. Others still struggle. The same is true for children from intact marriages. Yet, everything that happens in the lives of children has an impact.

Learning from Loss                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Recently something happened to me that illustrates an important point about the effects of loss on a child -  adults, too. About four years ago, I lost the diamond in my engagement ring. I think it happened at Wal-mart, but I didn’t notice it until later in the day. Finding a diamond hours later on Saturday at Wal-mart, well, let’s just say, “No way!” I grieved over the loss and what it symbolized.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I noticed a prong on my new ring was loose, so as soon as possible, I took it to the jewelry store for repair. I felt undressed without it. Then I looked at my empty ring finger and felt shocked to see the indentation left by the ring. I looked again a few days later and it was still there, so I called the jewelry store and told them I wanted the ring resized to fit my “older” finger.      

Help Children Heal                                                                                                                                                                                                                   That reminded me about loss. Whether it is from divorce, loss, or even moving to a new place, it does leave a mark on children. The more they talk about it, the easier it will be. But they may not want to talk to you, because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. They need an outlet and they need to know that God is always there for them. Growing Seasons groups can help. If your church, school, or organization does not have a program to help grieving children, tell them about Growing Seasons: Helping Children Heal from Divorce and Other Losses. You can follow the link and read the curricula online:

http://store.livingfree.org/Growing-Seasons-Coordinators-Guide_p_162.html

If you would like more information, email GrowingSeasons@aol.com.

Abuse: A Father’s Story

Jan5

Reblogged from A Cry For Justice:

The following account is provided by the father of an abuse victim, and how his daughter's suffering forced him to come to terms with his previous position that abuse is not a biblical ground for divorce:

It is a joy to have a Daddy’s Girl, and I have two daughters to prove it! There has always been a special bond between us, and I have the natural inclination to protect my little girls.

Read more… 1,615 more words

The Perks of Being a Writer

Oct8

Reblogged from Cristian Mihai:

Click to visit the original post

When I tell people I'm a writer they usually ask me how much I earn. I usually smile and say "enough." I've been giving this answer even before I started earning money, when my stories were available for free on Wattpad.

The thing is that being a writer, or any other kind of artist, also means that most probably you'll never earn a lot of money.

Read more… 366 more words

Even if the $$$'s are not on their way, It is good to have a reminder of the other perks of writing.

I want to tell you about My God..

Oct8

Reblogged from sixbrownbears:

This afternoon I began to crumble. It wasn't just one thing. It was one thing on top of another. My kiddos are fraying in the midst of the chaos of our life and their mother ain't doing much better. My kids went off to AWANA and I set to have a good cry and wander around helplessly in my misery. And then my phone rang.

Read more… 328 more words

This

Precious Prayer

Sep28
Česky: Kříže - symbol utrpení Ježíše Krista a ...

Česky: Kříže - symbol utrpení Ježíše Krista a jeho ukřižování (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Heavenly Father, sovereign God.  We come before you on bended knee, mindful that you are the God of all creation, worthy of all praise & all glory.

Father, it must break your heart to see how far our nation has fallen in to sin.  Forgive us, Lord.  I pray that we as a nation would fall on our knees in repentance.  I pray for revival and I pray it would begin today

I pray for that any lost person that may not even know what they are seeking, they just know there’s an emptiness inside that they cannot fill.  Holy Spirit, speak to that one person today so that they might come to know the joy of Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

I know many Christians are dealing with difficult issues; personal, health, financial.  Lord, reach out to each of us in our needs.  Bring healing to those with physical needs.  Bring resolution to struggling families and broken lives.  Provide opportunities of employment for those in financial need.  Wrap your arms around us and let us feel the warmth and love of your embrace.

Lord, over these next several weeks we will be bombarded with election news, polls & campaign ads.  I pray that truth would stand and falsehoods would be swept away.  The issues are not just the economy and foreign policy.  I think our founders would be saddened to see how far we’ve strayed from the principles upon which America was established.  As we approach this upcoming election, I pray that we would elect candidates who support Christian principles. As we enter the polling booth, I pray we will be guided by the Holy Spirit – not by the evil one.  I pray that on election day that we as Christians would stand together and let our voices be heard loud and clear.

Lord, you tell us to pray for our leaders.  I pray for all those in positions of leadership, for wisdom as they carry out the duties of their office, for an attitude of servant leader, not of self gain.  Lord, help them to know your will in the decisions they make and help them to be worthy of the office they hold.

I lift up a special prayer for the men and women of the armed forces of America.  They give so much of themselves and ask for so little in return.  Protect them as they perform their duties both here and in countries around the world.  Guard and provide for their families and give these brave men and women safe return home.  Your word tells us to pray for Israel.  Israel is surrounded by her enemies, and even now is on the brink of war.  Lord, we pray your hedge of protection around the nation of Israel and her people.  We pray against every man and every nation that seeks the destruction of Israel and we pray that you would give Israel victory over her enemies.  In the name of Jesus Christ, bind satan back from these your chosen people.

As we come to the time of offering into our churches, I pray that we would be cheerful givers, for all that we have comes from you.  Bless those who bring into your storehouse their tithes and offerings and make us good stewards of these gifts for the work of your kingdom.  Anoint our pastors as they come to bring your message each Sunday.  Let every word they speak be inspired by you.

We lift our prayers, our praises, and our adoration to you, O Lord, let your Glory come down and fill this place. And we pray all these things in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord & our Savior. AMEN

Dreams of My Uncle Sam

Sep19

There are two videos out, one in the theaters and one available on Amazon. The first is entitled, 2012 Obama’s America. The other is Dreams from My Father. Both include videos and other materials that make it appear that Obama is either a Colonialist or a lying Communist. Many of us have no idea what to believe at this jucture of the political scene. In my opinion, that doesn’t matter at all. The words we know straight from his own mouth are enough to send people running to Canada. He shows no interest in God or encouraging others to practice godly behavior. In fact, some of his policies smack God in the face.                                                                           

If you don’t believe me, read from the Old Testament prophets. God used them to warn the Israelites of the coming doom if they didn’t stop worshiping false idols. HMMM! Does America have a false idol? Yes and yes. Some Americans seem to have a blindness to the problems the last four years have created and the changes yet to come if we aren’t careful and prayerful when we vote. I pray for God to remove the scales from their eyes.

There is another yes. Many worship the government. They see the government as their rescuer, their god, to the point they become unable to think or do for themselves. The government doesn’t spend its own money to help others. It steals from other people in the form of taxes. They believe the Robin Hood philosophy that says it is OK to “take from the rich and give to the poor.” It is never OK to steal.

I agree the poor need help. The truly disabled need money, but the able-bodied need help getting a job. Two years of free unemployment handicaps people. They believe they are entitled to support from the government without ever having any responsibility themselves. They would be better off flipping burgers, working hard to rise to a management. Instead they sit at home and complain because the government isn’t giving them enough for a better lifestyle. At the end of two years, where are they? They are less employable than they were when they first lost their jobs.

George Washington, the father of our country, would cringe if he were alive. “Uncle Sam,” if he were a real person, would cry. The dreams of our forefathers were for a country where everyone had equal opportunity to work hard in their chosen profession. They dreamed of a place where family meant a mother and father who loved their children the moment they found out they were expecting.  They dreamed of a place where religion was protected, not attacked. A place where churches worked together to help the down and out. I dream that day will come again.

“Moreover you took your sons and your daughters, who you bore to Me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your acts of harlotry a small matter, that you have slain My children and offered them up …by causing them to pass through the fire.”  Ezekiel 16:21-22

Do your own research. THINK, PRAY, VOTE. If you haven’t done the first two, don’t do the last. Don’t vote blindly! God is giving us a chance to repent, please know that the whole country, maybe even the world, depends on your vote.

Time Management and the Empty Chair

Sep7

Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed with all the things you believe God is asking you to do? Have you ever found that as soon as you have a few free minutes at least ten things beckon your attention? Good and positive things, like calling a friend, or writing a blog, exercising or cleaning off a cluttered desk. Today while reading me Bible, I discovered a solution. I looked at my empty chair and invited Jesus to sit there and direct my steps. Elisabeth Elliot says, “Do the next thing.”

I say, “Focus on Jesus and do the next thing.” How do you know what that is? I believe He will show you. Ask the one sitting in your desk chair to let you know what He wants you to do. You might be surprised. Sometimes He may tell you to spend more time with Him and let Him worry about the other things for a while.